Always With Me

I am finally calm enough to write something for/about John. It has taken me over a week - after reading about the accident involving John and his friend last May, 4 months ago. I came upon the news purely by chance while browsing the web. I was in utter shock as I read the details...and shaken to the core for many days.

I was a patient of John Austin’s, while a teenager in the early 70’s. He was a young resident at Highland Hospital. To put it plainly, and to spare the details, I will say that through his brilliance as a physican, he saved my life. While in the hospital, he was as much my doctor as a very special person and friend. It was a critical time in my life.

I moved away from CA, and we corresponded occasionally, writing letters, for several years. Over time...my parents and a portion of my family that lived in California...got to know him a bit, and share the fondness I had for him. He had a very big heart, as everyone on this site has acknowledged. I never knew him in later life, except one visit when I went to CA in the mid-70’s. I didn’t know of all his interests, his personal or professional life, but none of it surprises me. It is how I would have imagined him to be. He was inspirational at a difficult time in my life, and through his friendship and genius as a doctor, and kindness as a person, I continued on with my life...never forgetting him...

The twinkle in his eye and smile, that so many have mentioned, were the first thing I noticed about him - and I believe it was his love of Life. All life, all good things. I have always had him in my heart and mind, and always will. I always hoped I would see him again.

Interestingly, the day I read about this, my husband and I got involved with an organization here in Boston that helps house (out of state) families when sick members are in town for special medical treatments in our great hospitals. I like to think about John in this new & special connection. I won’t say goodbye (to him), because he never left me. But I do send my deepest condolences to his family and friends that had him in their lives. I cried for all of us...but also know of the gifts he left us with.

Tamara

John: Happy, happy 65th!

Paul McCartney composed John’s rhetorical question; we all watched Jacqui say, “Yes!” to each question posed:

When I get older losing my hair,
Many years from now.
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings bottle of wine?

If I'd been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door,
Will you still need me,
will you still feed me,
When I’m sixty-four?

Doing the garden,
digging the weeds,
Who could ask for more.
Will you still need me,
will you still feed me,
When I’m sixty-four?

John, we loved you at 64, and we love you more and miss you so very much at 65. . . as September 1st came and went, from far and wide we toasted your birthday. You live in our hearts, and the memories of the times we shared together fill our souls.

Godspeed Johnnie, Godspeed.

Stryker

Two months. . . and I cannot accept you are not in our midst.

John: It has been two months and the memories have grown more vivid. I suspect you’d have criticized several individuals for celebrations in Oakland—rather Claremont—and then Boulder, UT that provided the opportunity to reminisce about “Johnnie”, Dr. Austin, John, Dr. John, Uncle John, our “big brother”, our best friend, “my little brother” and the guy everyone had on speed dial. . . more reliable than “9-1-1”, more capable than any help-desk, any on-call mechanic, any typical uncle who’d have a nephew and his wife delivering their first child—a daughter. . . one-of-a-kind.

Well, we knew you were with us as we doted on you, talked about your remarkable intellect, your unparalleled creativity, your patience, your remarkable encouragement, your innate ability to find things in us we never knew we had, your devotion to Jacqui, your ability to convince others to suffer through those inexplicable foreign films, your love of your “Sweetie”, . . . and you never expected anything in return. You found your reward in sharing time with individuals you knew needed you or were simply, “interesting”. John, you gave so much, and now many of us are realizing there was never sufficient opportunity to express our gratitude. If you’d been there, you’d have been impressed by how smart I was at the Claremont Country Club after my sixth glass of Newton unfiltered Chardonnay in discussing your idiosyncrasies, your foibles. . . and I see you leaning back and asking, “So Warren, what have you learned, what piece of evidence can you offer to convince me you have been awakened?”

Well, “Johnnie” . . . Dr. John. . . two things: Jacqui always impressed me as “quietly tough” but I must share with you that while she will always love you and will never fill the hole you left, she is focused, organized and very smart and tough. That lady had always impressed me; this experience has taken it to a new level. Secondly, between Jim, Bryce and me, we realized it’s OK to say we love another guy. . . that being said, I think Cousin Gerry would weigh in and say that he loves you and always has, and—remarkably—Sid cried in Boulder when describing his experiences with you. . . he also stimulated some sustained laughter too. It was terrific to hear Jim, Ed, Justin, Bobby, Tim, Larry, and Alan extol your virtues. . . Alan talked about “doubles” coming at you and going away from you in Scotland. A pair of doubles. . . again, unbelievable what you could always do with an “Aw shucks!” attitude.

John I wandered through the house on the ranch. . . alfalfa panorama for a front yard. . . whether on roof deck, in the tub, or on the back patio, the slick rock back drop as the back yard is simply spectacular. . . what a dichotomy. The floor plan is spectacular, the land so special. This may be the first “new item” you have ever financed or purchased since I have known you. . . I hope to have pizza with Miss Jacqui, your “Sweetie”, in the kitchen prior to heading down to the barn to do chores. . . .

How we miss you John. . . the annual “Quail dinner” will be hosted by Senator Mathews in Nashville August 6; the theme, the focus, the preoccupation given the participants including your friends Gov. McWhorter, Gov. Bredesen, and the Senator. . . to mention nothing of Mr. Pete, Harry Lee and the entourage. . . is about you. Everyone’s friend. I thought I’d not make it because of a Board meeting, but all-of-a-sudden being with friends and extolling your virtues has taken on a new importance.

John, on August 6^th we will make fun of you, tell stories, and reminisce. . . then Phil will likely insist we stop and simply say none of us has ever, ever enjoyed a richer friendship.

John, I miss you, I think about you often, I will do anything Jacqui asks, I will tell Eva about you, I will continue to live my life knowing you made me better and I never had a chance to repay you.

How I miss you,

Stryker

Stryker Warren jr.

swarren@urologix.com

To John:

I first met John as a client of my consulting practice back in 2006. It was very clear that there was a lot to John - I guess I would call him complex (in a good way). He was clearly passionate about his company and its success but also very caring about the people that worked with him. There were many dimensions to him and I can think of many of his traits that were sometimes at odds with one another. He was smart, focused, energetic, stubborn, caring, funny, compassionate, loyal, direct, independent, loving, supportive, hard, soft and many other things all at the same time. Just a fantastic mix of things to make a special individual. Despite starting off as a purely business relationship, I am happy that our business relationship also grew into a friendship. I always found him to be true gentleman (in the "old school" sense - the world really needs more of those) and I enjoyed the time we spent together.

John gave of himself freely and openly to me and, it is clear from the comments on this page, to many other people. What I personally enjoyed most were both his keen intellect combined with his sparkling sense of humor. When I visualize him it is always with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. He had a zest for life that was infectious and something we should all try to emulate.

I was also struck by how deeply he cared for the people in his life. So many of the people he worked with have been with him for years and despite the frustrations that come with any long term relationship, the underlying mutual affection and caring was crystal clear. However, nothing was more clear than how deeply he cared for Jacqui and the special relationship they have. It was obvious that she was the cause of the great twinkle in his eye.

I'll miss him and the world is a poorer place without him in it.

I'd like to share the following poem that I've found, which I think expresses my sentiments very well.


In Celebration of a Life

A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam.

And for a brief moment
Its glory and beauty belong to our world.

But then it flies on again.
And though we wish it could have stayed

We feel so lucky to have seen it.


Ed Page

Dear John,

The days pass and the loss of you is still a tragedy. I think of you often and my stomach does it's swirly, agonizing thing; it's a visceral response to the thought of never seeing your wry smile again. If there's any way that you're listening in to all this, you must know by now how treasured you were, how loved by so many, and the vast number of people who's lives are richer for having some, however small, interaction with you.

The days pass; we learn to live without you; our fractured hearts slowly mend, though the scar is permanent. But what will *always* remain is the effect you had on the world. And us. You have my deep, heartfelt thanks for being.

David

Thank You, John,

Thank you, John for being my friend and my mentor.

Thank you, John for tolerating my foolishness and my emotional swings as your friend and as your employee. I am sure many times I was exactly the fool Skip has described you suffered so well.

Thank you, John for carefully and quietly guiding and comforting me as I faced losing my mother to cancer. You handed me a medical volume turned to the page that described what she had, how it would be treated and how it was likely to end, without words but with a strong hug.

Thank you, John for forcing me to figure out for myself what you could so easily have told me and then for the wry grin you would give me when I marched back into your office having finally figured out what you were pushing me to see. And for your tolerance when for the first 5 minutes I actually thought I had come up with the idea myself.

Thank you, John for creating a wonderful work environment at HPA that taught me so many things about both life and business and how they differ. The friendships developed among the people you gathered together there have lasted many, many years. It was there that I got my first glimpse of your deep and endless love for Jacqui when during your staff meeting she called and you answered in a completely different voice; lower, loving and gentle. We all got up and left as we knew we were eavesdropping on a great love affair.

Thank you, John for being willing to work with me several times since those days at HPA, and for continuing to give me your guidance without judgment. You were never without your opinions about what I was pursuing, you just were supportive of me wandering around figuring things out for myself.

Thank you, John for always taking my calls and always answering my e-mails and always asking first in these past few years if my son was safe as he was more often deployed than at home. You knew how truly terrified I was and it helped to have you ask in that incredibly warm gentle way you had of talking to me. Your profound objection to the war never got in the way of caring about my son and my heart-numbing fear.

Thank you, John for letting me from time to time get a glimpse of the amazing man behind the amazing businessman. The way you conducted your life and your long deep love affair with Jacqui is well imprinted on me and I thank you for the experience of having known you.

And one last thank you, John for I know that you forgive me for being incapable of attending your memorial because I am unable to graciously let go and accept that I will never be able to talk to you again.

Thank you, Jacqui for sharing John and your life with him. May you gain comfort from his friends and the many warm memories.

Susy (Schleuning) Kreiskott

John,

I read with shock and sadness the newspaper article reporting the death of John and his friend, Susan, in an airplane accident the end of May. The last time I saw John, his family and friends, was in 1970 when my husband and I traveled with two small children to the family retreat in Boulder. Then I lost track of him, but always had fond memories of his friendship as we studied (well, sort of) at the University of Utah.

I first met him in a Physics class at the U, the summer of 1964. It was crazy--three quarters, a years worth of physics in six weeks. Lectures every morning, a midterm or final every Friday, and labs in the afternoon Monday through Thursday. We met in the physics building, unairconditioned, of course. One experiment couldn’t be performed because the air temperature was just too high during August in Utah. I remember the lab assistant saying the first person that shocked themselves while doing experiments with electricity would fail. I shocked myself shortly thereafter but fortunately didn’t fail.

We survived physics and John drove to Boulder for R and R before returning to Covina. Before he left, he had taken me flying and we had had some good conversations. It was never small talk with him. He had a way of peeling back all the protective outer layers of a person, and really getting to what was deep down inside. I am fairly sure he loved everyone with which he had such communication. This was something new to me and I wanted to continue sharing ideas and aspirations so I wrote him: “John Austin, Boulder, Utah” because I had no idea what his address was. The letter was hand delivered by a boy on horseback who knew where John was fishing. That was back in the days when the population of Boulder was 104. I understand it has almost tripled since then.

He returned to the U for his last year before medical school. By then I had moved to a small but sincere apartment a couple of blocks from the University library. With three roommates, and friends--Rob (premed), Anil, Asit, and Alam (grad students in Biology) we had many a get together. John joined the group and became fast friends with all. I still have the card on which we all wrote our addresses. We vowed to meet in Europe in 25 years but of course it never happened. In retrospect we were like family especially with Anil, Asit, and Alam so far from home. John corresponded with some of the group when we all went our separate ways.

We were young, full of energy, and noble aspirations, and wanted to make sure that we would never “sell out” to the establishment. John once wrote: “I’ve always believed that what we are is what we can give, but I am only now seeing the relationship between our ability to give and the importance of taking. Just as surely as there can be no good without bad, there can be no giving without knowing how to take. . .Write as you can. Don’t miss any chances to live.” John gave so much and we were blessed with his caring and acceptance. Didn’t matter who you were or what you believed.

When I knew him, John believed there was nothing after you died, so live life to its fullest. That was not my belief and he knew it, but it wasn’t an issue. I don’t know if that was how he felt later in life. If he was right, he will live on for all of us in every sunset, in every loving act we extend to others, in the ranch, in his love for Jaqui. He will live on in the memories of all who knew and loved him. If there is a life after we die, I am sure he was greeted with a loving embrace by his Maker, with joy for the good life that John led, for the lives he touched.

I didn’t cry until I found the pictures I was looking for, only three from 1966 and probably a polaroid taken of the Austin residence in Boulder in 1964. With a flood of memories the tears ran down my cheeks. I am attaching them to this email. Best wishes and heartfelt condolences to Jaqui and the Austin family.

Maude Norman

How hard can it be!

These were the words I remember from my first encounter with Dr. John Austin. “How hard can it be” was the mantra for Arcadian Health Plan. The health plan was a vision for this accomplished man and his team. But it was not just another business. This was a health plan… a health plan which, not only employed hundreds of people but cared for tens of thousands of members. To John, these employees and members were his extended family.

I was proud to be a part of the Arcadian family. To know and work with John was a privilege and an enjoyment. His smile, wink of eye, tilt of the head and tassel of the hair will never be forgotten. His tremendous career as a physician, a businessman and as a pilot was model for all to follow. John, for me, will be forever remembered as a friend, a mentor, a teacher and one who inspired others. He inspired me to be the best I could be in all aspects of life including business and aviation. I will miss our talks of flying, his stories of life, the ranch and the people he knew and loved.

As they say, behind every great man is a great woman. Well John made sure that Jacqui was by his side. I will keep Jacqui in my thoughts and prayers during these extreme heartfelt times.

I was blessed to know John, the man, the physician, the businessman and the pilot and it is hard… Hard to believe the world, the land and the skies are without John Austin.

John will forever squawk one-two-zero-zero.

Steve Klaus

Mentor and Friend:

John, I contacted many of our shared acquaintances after I heard the tragic news on Friday two weeks ago. Three physician leaders responded individually, but with remarkably similar reactions when I shared the news by phone: disbelief which then shifted to concern for Jacqui. As of Tuesday evening each had reflected upon his times with you. Drs. Kishel, Rosenbloom and Kongstvedt have each weighed in with their memories of the profound impact you had upon them. John, you were so generous in “stretching” all of us who worked with you and for you: appropriate challenges and constructive criticism. . .

I knew you touched many, but I underestimated your influence and impact. These three physicians reference your special gifts: your generosity, encouragement, and caring. They clearly admired you.

John, I have always admired you and sought you out for advice and counsel. I am so gratified that your contemporaries Peter, Mark and Skip point out the remarkable influence you have had on their lives. There shall never be another like you;

Godspeed Dr. John.

swarren

Memories of John Austin

I met John in the summer of 2002 when I came to Oakland for an interview with Ken Zimmerman for a financial analyst position with Arcadian Management Services. John and Ken took me out to lunch that day and I remember John took a special interest in my Dad who was at the time in a nursing home in Yountville. They wanted me to relocate from San Diego to Oakland and I remarked that it would be good because I would be a lot closer and be able to visit Dad more frequently. Through the years John would always make a point of asking how dad was doing. Dad passed away about 3 years ago and I am just now realizing that John Austin has in many ways been a father to me and I suspect many other Arcadians.

One year at Christmas I baked some biscotti for everyone in the office from an old family recipe. John complemented me and asked for the recipe which I gave to him. At the time I was not sure if he really liked the cookies or was just being polite. The next time I baked him cookies he remarked that he hopes there will be some left for him to bring home to Jacqui. He said they ate them in one sitting the last time so after that I started giving him a bigger bag of cookies when I baked them.

One year he invited everyone in the office to his house for lunch. It was spring time and his rose garden was in full bloom. I remember thinking I want a garden like this. I have been remodeling a house for the last 3 years and John would always ask about the progress. I was planning to have John come out to the house for lunch but was waiting until I finished the yard. I have been dreaming of planting a garden which was inspired by John house in Oakland. It makes me sad that I won’t be able to share it with him.

I would sometimes tease John about his car. He was driving this old Toyota camery that must have been more than ten years old, the paint was so faded. I remember when he finally bought a new car, correction a one year old used car. One night December 2007 John and I were at the airport about midnight, we were coming back from the service center Christmas party when our flight was delayed 3 hours. We were waiting for the parking van to come pick us up in the freezing cold and I remarked that with his wealth he should have a limo driver pick him up rather than stand in the cold. He would not have anything to do with that idea. When he gave his speech at the party he singled me out of the crowd with several others because I had been with the company for so many years. I commented back that my former employer had given a gold pin and a dinner after 5 years; I thought at lease he could take me to lunch after 7 years. He laughed and promised to take me to lunch. A couple months later John took me out to lunch at one of his favorite restaurants in Piedmont. He goes there for the Duck and we had a nice lunch just the two of us.

Gary Intersimone

I share the same feelings of disbelief and loss that all friends of John and Jacqui are feeling since hearing of the news last Friday. We all reflect on the memories of our times together and feel the sadness that comes from knowing we will not see John again. However, the measure of any person's life is the lasting impact they have on those who they knew and loved, and it is comforting for all of us, and for Jacqui, that John's impact on our lives was both meaningful and unforgettable.

For my wife Shirley and I, John and Jacqui are in our thoughts daily, since we daily enjoy our water dog Sophie, a gift from these two generous and wonderful people. As is their way, they would accept no payment for this extraordinary gift. It was obviously payment enough for them to know that it made us really happy.

Having read through all the comments on the blog, in which all the English language superlatives (and a few in Spanish), and every high complement possible have been used over and over, I cannot help but think John would have some wry thoughts to share were he to read this stuff.
It's all true, but I do believe John would be rolling his eyes and shaking his head at all of this adulation.

I suspect that John would want all of us thinking about not just his kindness and generosity and clear thinking, but some of the lessons he taught all of his friends and acquaintances in less direct ways.

First, clothes don't make the man was clearly among his guiding sartorial principles. I remember attending meetings with health plan physicians John was attempting to herd in the direction of appropriate utilization. John's shirts were frayed. His ties were two or three style generations old in terms of width. Occasionally his socks did not match. And polished shoes were out of the question. I was never really sure if this was a lesson to them about anti materialism, a subtle message to the physicians about the need for cost containment given the health plan's inability to pay him a salary adequate to purchase new clothes, or John's unwillingness to spend money on something as frivolous as dress up clothes.

Second, eat what tastes good. In our last breakfast together a month ago, John downed 3 of the richest, biggest, butteriest croissants I have ever tasted. In this cholesterol obsessed world, John ate the way he lived his life, with total abandon and enthusiasm.

Finally, suffer fools politely. I always admired John for his ability to be genuinely nice to everyone, even those whose opinions and behavior was simeon in comparison to John's. Many years ago one of John's health plans hosted brokers and some physicians in Palm Springs. John got dressed up in dark socks, shorts, running shoes, long sleeve dress shirt rolled up to the elbows, and a hat that was too big for his head. He proceded to wander around the course in a golf cart, briefly joining each foresome of intoxicated health plan guests, hitting occasional shots, all miserably off line I should add, acting as though he really was enjoying himself and enjoying all these people with whom he had little if anything in common. He treated everyone nicely. (That said, I will tell you that each time he came back to my group, he would roll his eyes, quietly make some demeaning comment about my enthusiasm for golf, and ask how many holes were left before the torture ended. )

I can't help but smile as I think about John, as sarcasm and laughing characterized most of our all too infrequent meetings these past 20 years. I'm pretty sure that's the way he would have it for all of us. Smile when he comes into our thoughts, and then live life fully.

We offer love to Jacqui and our smiles for John.

Skip and Shirley Rosenbloom

I will always remember and be grateful that you came into my life.

Dear John,
I was so much hoping I would speak with you and while we recently exchanged emails, I never got the chance. Few people have affected my life so. When we were first introduced in 1982, I was a fledging medical director and you were my mentor. I vividly remember the time you hosted us in Squaw Valley. Skiing KT-22, and cross country skiing into Donner Pass, where we came across Puma tracks in the freshly fallen snow, along side the railroad trestle. The day was sunny and we rested for a while next to a running stream, with snow drifts surrounding us. It was magical.

I was so impressed with what you did, I left my job in Arizona and began working for HealthAmerica. You cheered me on and helped me think through difficult choices. You and Jacqui visited me after the birth of my daughter Brittany and brought her a doll, a folksy rabbit doll, dressed in gingham. I had never seen anything like it. Brittany has gone on to ride horses and now will be off to medical school in the fall. Twenty plus years passed in a heartbeat.

You touched base with me over the years but as you grew busier (and so did I) those touch points became separated by more and more time. Our common acquaintances would update me from time to time, as to what you were doing, and others who knew you would also inquire about you. I recently joined Coventry and reached out to you. Stryker forwarded your contact info and you replied by email, “I will get back to you shortly”.
John, you have touched many lives and I feel blessed to have known you. I was so much hoping I would speak with you again.

Your friend,
Mark Kishel

Chilean Horses,

John Austin contacted me several years ago when he ran into my web site and various articles I had written about the Chilean Horse. He and Jacqui had been in southern Chile during very rainy conditions and Jacqui felt so secure riding a Chilean Horse that John later wanted to inquire about buying one to ship up to his ranch. John would obviously do anything for the love of his life and being that Jacqui had a insecure feeling riding horses at the time, he thought nothing of bringing one from the other side of the world to help her conquer that fear.

After several email exchanges, it became obvious that John wanted me to act as his agent in finding this special saddle horse in Chile. Since the transaction required a good deal of trust, he decided to come meet me and determine if we had the right chemistry between us. Incredibly, John flew out of San Francisco, to L.A., L,A to Houston, Houston to Santiago and Santiago to Iquique (Chile) only taking the necessary time to make his connections. Twenty some hours later he stayed in our house where we conversed late into the night. He got up early the next day and took a dip in our pool and then off we went to get to know the city of Iquique, the geoglyphs of Pintado, the Oasis of Pica, my Chilean Horses in the oasis of Esmeralda, a quick lunch and then back to the Iquique airport to make the same trip back to San Francisco.

Needless to say, I was impressed. He definitely knew what he wanted, there was no doubt he was an intense person, he obviously was a good and quick judge of character and when he had a passion he pursued it enthusiastically. By the time all was said and done, he not only purchased the saddle horse for Jacqui, but also young mare in training for the Chilean Rodeo, four broodmares in foal to excellent stallions and a gorgeous young stallion for the breeding operation in Utah. Only one other person had gotten involved with breeding Chilean Horses in the USA before and that was back in the 80's. Nevertheless, the more we talked about the breed the more convinced he was that the Chilean Horses were going to be right at home in the Rockies. I think time has proven him right, as they have been a great source of enjoyment for John, Jacqui and many of their guests.

As a horseman and Professional Animal Scientist, it excited me to be able to be involved in this transaction of sending Chilean Horses to North America. However, as it turned out, the horses were simply the vehicle to a much better thing. I went back to see the horses in Boulder several times where I had the pleasure of getting to know Jacqui and build closer ties with John. Another year I was also able to visit John and Jacqui in their home in the Bay area. John and Jacqui invited my daughter Rochelle to their home and later to the BCC Ranch in Utah. On another occasion when my children (I have a son Rory also) and I were traveling throughout the west, we dropped in for yet another dose of Austin-Smalley hospitality in Boulder.

Many times I said to myself how happy I was that my children were able to have that experience of getting to know such special people and now more than ever, I know that the memory of John is etched in each one of us for life. What seemed like a interesting horse transaction, in fact developed into a wonderful friendship with one of the nicest couples I have ever run across. This gift in my life has no comparison with the satisfaction that came about through the common love for horses that made our paths cross.

John, just know that Rochelle, Rory and myself will always carry your memory close to our hearts. Jacqui, know that you have friends willing to help in any way, wherever we may be.

Randall Ray Arms

Note: The above picture is of 19 year old Talento (still competing). This Chilean Horse stallion has three times won the Championship of Chilean Rodeo. Only two other horses in history have done this.

Escalante River

It's been a hellish, surreal week. Boulder may be quiet, but not this kind of quiet. I can't imagine how life has been for all of you. And I can't possibly add to the beautiful and moving words and tributes of all the friends and family. What a rich, full, bountiful life of experiencing and giving and sharing that John led; to have so many deeply loving, deeply hurting people so affected by his departure.

I made a little animita down at the site this morning: A ironstone piece from Mike and Gary's place as a base; flowers: globemallow, foxglove, indigo-colored penstemmon, scarlet corn poppy, and, of course, some of your yellow roses, Jacqui, all watered from the Escalante River; a horseshoe from the ranch (thanks, Abbe); and the tribute I wrote to John cut from yesterday's Insider. The raw pain of being in that spot, and unwelcome feelings of defiance and anger at the harshness and finality of the event were strangely softened on the trip home. Two soft, luminescent blobs of light evanesced over Thompson Ledge; they looked like sundogs, but weren't encircling the sun. Other people saw it too; some tourists had stopped on the road and were taking photos. The blobs coalesced into an iridescent, wavy band, then slowly dissipated. Along with my negative feelings. Only a sense of calm and peace remained. It was one of those magical and mysterious Boulder moments that I know John and Jacqui have experienced and loved.

If only I could transport a bit of that momentary sense of peace to you all. John would have loved it.

John, Bryce, Marcia, & Eva

Photos of John

In trying to come to grips with the loss of John I've been going through old photos. They remind me of some of the many reasons that I liked and admired him so much. He had a warmth and openness toward others, always including them in his enjoyment of life. This is at his 60th birthday celebration in the barn in Boulder.







Food was always good and plentiful. Here are Ed and John slicing pork or goat, I can't remember for sure.




He and Jacqui were very generous in inviting others to share vacations with them. This photo is at Villa Los Frailes in Baha in 2003 sharing wine and stories with Ed, Belle, Jacqui, Cheryl, Kirsten and me.

Jacqui and John are decked out to go for drinks at the Hotel Bahia Los Frailes (2005).

John was a hands-on guy. It seems like he could do anything. Here he is working on the irrigation in their alfalfa field (Boulder, 2005).

He really enjoyed the outboard motor boat in Baja as well as the ATV to tow it around. He loved to fish and to take others fishing with him. This photo is from Feb 2003. John has just navigated through the rocks by an excellent snorkeling beach.

The next two photos are in 2006.
John is pulling with the ATV while Mike and I push. John had a way with equipment and an enjoyment of it.












Cheryl and John are headed out for early morning fishing.

Here are some shots that show John at play.

Naomi and David are enjoying the sunrise while John appears to be trying to get Cochamo interested in the stick while Mouffetard looks on expectantly (Baja 2005).

John tries windsurfing and does remarkably well at it (Baja 2006).








John boogie-boarding: he always caught the biggest waves (Baja 2005).









Here's one of John studying "Baja Catch" with Mouffetard sitting by (Baja 2006).

Here is a photo of John walking down the beach at sunrise (Baja, 2005).

I still can't believe that John is not coming back. He has touched so many of us with his warmth and kindness. We each keep a piece of him in our hearts.

Tom

My little brother John

Friends and Family,

John was my little brother, eleven months younger. My mother told me we used to play together as toddlers under the kitchen table. We would drive our trucks under her feet. I was Sam, John was Mac.

As we grew older and sibling rivalry became a cruel reality I would taunt my little brother; he was a pest wanting to join our “girls only” club. We would put him through elaborate, mortifying initiation procedures only to deny him entrance into our club, his gender perpetually excluding him from membership.

After he was given a BB gun for his 8^th birthday he used to shoot birds in our backyard. We had screaming, kicking, scratching and rolling on the ground fights when his endeavors ended in bird fatalities. John was a hunter from an early age.

As teenagers our battles became less physical and more psychological. I didn’t stand a chance. That acerbic wit for which he would become famous was honed in high school. He also became famous for pulling a prank on the principal, which involved borrowed blood from a laboratory and a faked injury arising from the principal swatting his butt with a paddle. He was a high school legend at 15.

As adults my “little” brother became my “big” brother. My advisor, my protector, the one the family called in an emergency. If there was one person I could depend on it was my brother. If there was one certainty in my life it was my brother. After my son Bryce and his wife Marcia moved to Oakland my brother and Jacqui welcomed them into their home and included them in their close circle of friends. My brother and Jacqui enriched their lives in so many ways. John encouraged Bryce to obtain his pilot’s license and included him on his annual abalone diving trips to Mendocino. When John purchased the Storch he offered Bryce and his friend Brett, an experienced aerobatic pilot, the adventure of flying this WWII replica from the Midwest to Utah. It was an offer they couldn’t refuse and an exploit they will always remember. Bryce and Marcia flew to Boulder often to spend time at the cabin with Jacqui and John. It was the first place they took their new baby Eva to visit when she was only a few months old. It was also the first place I took my son to visit when he was only a few months old.

John was a very busy man - he created and ran his own multi-faceted empire. He wanted to share the many blessings in his life with all of us and enrich all of our lives as well. We are all living testimony to how well he succeeded in that endeavor. I thought we would have more time together after he retired and moved to the ranch. We all did. Now we are left with memories. Thank you for sharing yours.

Nancy Breslin

For John:

John will always hold a very special place in my heart. When my grandfather's health was failing several years ago, it became apparent that keeping the ranch in the family was not a possibility. Several enticing offers from developers threatened to see one of the most beautiful places on the planet destroyed. John will always be a hero in my eyes for preventing that from ever happening, and working with my dad to ensure that our family will always have our own little slice of heaven.

In the week that has past since this tragedy I have read multiple articles about John and Susan. I am impressed with the lives and accomplishments of these two individuals. May their well-lived lives continue to be an inspiration to others, and may the loved ones left behind find comfort and peace in knowing that they passed doing something they loved. I can't think of a more beautiful place to make the transition.

Stephanie Flake

A message for John:

Missing you –

John, you were such an amazing human being – truly, your presence was a gift to so many people. You lived life so fully and with such an adventurous and inquisitive spirit I remain so inspired by you. You believed in the fundamental talents of people and expected them to achieve great things. You encouraged people to try harder, think differently and set a real example of embracing life and striving toward a greater level. And, you always had ready an encouraging word or a funny story which seemed to just place things in their proper perspective. You were young at heart and I will always remember you this way, along with your quiet intensity and genuine care for other people. I miss you, John and I am privileged to have known you. Peace to you and your family.

Heidi C. Sullivan

Mis palabras para John:

Cuando en abril del 2003 John y Jacqui salieron a recibirme a mi llegada por primera vez a Oakland, jamás imaginé lo mucho que estos personajes cambiarían mi vida. A John y a Jacqui les debo gran parte de mi felicidad y éxito en los Estados Unidos. Gracias a ellos tuve la oportunidad de explorar el Área de la Bahía antes de convencer a mi marido a que nos mudáramos para allá. Más tarde, fueron ellos quienes nos ofrecieron un lugar perfectamente económico dentro de Rockridge, muy cerca de su casa. Como si eso fuera poco, nos dieron una llave de su hogar y nos pidieron que nunca avisáramos antes de ir, pues ‘somos familia’. John ofició nuestra ceremonia de matrimonio en Chile en 2004. Después de la ceremonia todos nos fuimos a la piscina y John desafió a quienes quisieran probar que podían cruzar la piscina de lado a lado sin respirar. De cinco hombres que aceptaron el desafío – Bryce incluido – John fue el único que lo logró, ¡y reiteradas veces!

John fue para mí un gran amigo, un ejemplo y el mejor tío que pude haber tenido. Para él la familia era fundamental y junto a Jacqui se encargó de demostrarme cuán libre se puede ser entregando y amando. Sus enseñanzas exceden mis palabras y su legado es mucho más de lo que yo podría saber. John, siempre incondicional, me apoyó en los momentos más importantes: durante mi embarazo y en la maternidad. Nos hicimos cómplices al tomar café amargo en la noche, comer chocolate y tomar helado, y en la típica avena matinal. Me siento muy honrada de haber tenido parte de su tiempo y, sobre todo, de haber sido testigo de su inolvidable sonrisa. Lamentaré siempre que mi hija no tuviese más tiempo con él. Sin embargo, abrazaré con fuerza la imagen de sus manos gigantes, llenas de siembra, cargando a Eva.

John yace ahora en cada uno de nosotros de manera diferente. Así era él, siempre versátil...y absolutamente enamorado de su mujer. Su dulzura se mantendrá fresca en mi sentir y haré todo lo posible por representarlo lo más fehacientemente posible a mi hija. Mi amor por John perdurará en el tiempo y se irá fortaleciendo a través de las muchas historias que compartiré con Eva.

Gracias, John, de todo corazón.

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And for those of you who didn't catch the love and tenderness of the above in Spanish, Marcia has kindly translated it for us below, though it can't quite capture the passion of the original:
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When John and Jacqui welcomed my arrival to Oakland for the first time in April, 2003, I never thought how much they would change my life. I owe to John and Jacqui a big part of my happiness and success in the U.S. Thanks to them, I had the opportunity to explore the Bay Area, before convincing my husband to move there. Later, they offered us a perfectly affordable place in Rockridge, very close to their own house. As if this wasn’t enough, they gave us a key to their home and asked us never to call before showing up at their place, ‘we are family,’ they said.
John officiated our marriage ceremony in Chile in 2004. After the ceremony, we all went swimming at the pool. John challenged anyone who was willing to cross the swimming pool from side to side holding his breath. Of five people who accepted the challenge, (including Bryce and a young friend of his) he was the only one capable of doing it.
For John family was fundamental. He and Jacqui have set an example for me of what true love means. John was for me a great friend and the best uncle I could ever have. His teachings exceed my words and his legacy is much more than I’ll ever know. John, always unconditional, gave me his support in the most important moments: during my pregnancy and maternity. We became accomplices drinking black coffee at night, eating chocolate and ice cream, and in our typical morning oatmeal. I feel honored for having had part of his time for me and, most importantly, for being witness to his unforgettable smile. I will always lament that my daughter did not have the chance to know him better. Yet, I will hold with strength the image of his huge hands, full of dirt from the garden, holding Eva. His kindness will stay fresh within me and I will do everything possible to truthfully convey his image to my daughter. My love for John will last throughout my time and it will become stronger through the many stories that I will share with Eva.

Thank you, John.

Marcia Cantillana

Friend; Brother; Mentor; Father to All:

As the news of your demise arrived, no one could believe it.

Certainly no one wanted to because you were such a friend, mentor and supporter to all.

We who knew you well were fully aware of how thoughtful, careful and cautious you are – so the notion of a flying accident was beyond possible.

As we commiserated and lamented, the consistent themes were how you reached into each of us and touched us, stimulated us, challenged us, and always made us feel good about what we had done and still needed to do. You always took the time to make kind and thoughtful observations. You were always so deep in your considerations that everyone felt that exceptional level of notice and caring that was rarely provided anywhere else. Many at Arcadian and its broader family considered you a father in your gentle, persistent, and uncompromising guidance. You always made time to comment, compliment and remember something about everyone you encountered.

Having met thousands of leaders in my career, no one stands above you in the blend of extreme intelligence, visionary insight, kind consideration, breadth of knowledge and interests, balance of ethical and moral values, passion for life and love of people. To say you will be missed is an understatement. We now despair of not having you with us in our journey. There was a confidence and comfort from knowing that you were always there to run some ideas or developments off of for rational perspective and grounded understanding of multiple implications - or just calm us down, focus us on the positive and figure out how to work together. Not having that security blanket is scary and sad. Still, you have prepared us for the future without you. We did not want it this way. Yet we know you must have been called on by our Maker to do the same thing you did with us – but now with some other lucky group. Wherever your spirit is planted, you will help people thrive, be challenged, prosper and gel.

You have provided us with many gifts: a strength, a sense of camaraderie, a common purpose, a burning desire to be excellent and to improve ourselves, enhance the world and help others, facing down adversity and inertia, We are better for it. I have always considered myself honored and privileged to work with you. It is sad to know that we will not be speaking – but it is encouraging to know that there is a deep well of experiences and a perpetual spirit to draw on as we proceed and carry on – doing what you would want us to do.

We do love you and will be calling out to you frequently. We will be glad to take care of your other friends and lovely wife Jacqui – any way possible.

Good bye for now, my friend, colleague and teacher.

From your admirer,

Les Granow

A deeply felt loss for Boulder, Utah

Even though we have been acquainted for a few years, my wife and I were just in the process of getting to know John and Jacqui much better over this past couple of years in Boulder, Utah.  They were in Boulder more often developing the ranch and building their new home.  Last years primary season gave us a lot to talk about.  They were keen supporters of our 3 year old Boulder Community Alliance and Jacqui had just joined the Board in anticipation of moving to Boulder and assuming a strong role in our conservation and community stewardship programs.  Two of our key leaders in BCA, Tim Clarke and Peg Smith, were very good friends of John and Jacqui's.  Peg wrote a piece for our county weekly newspaper that sums up better than I ever could just what an accomplished and generous man John Austin was and how deeply his loss will be felt here in our small Boulder community and far beyond. 

Garfield County (Utah) Insider by Peg Smith

Some pass through the veil with a small sigh and a slight shuffling of the cosmic furniture. The sudden passing of John Austin, of Boulder, UT, and Susan Jordan, of Ukiah, CA, was a thunderclap, followed by the long, low rumbling of the cosmos pouring into a major void.

John H. Austin, M.D., ranch owner, pilot, prodigious businessman, and new retiree, died on May 29 along with a longtime friend, Susan Jordan, as they spent their last moments here doing two things both loved doing: flying and touring through spectacular canyon scenery. John’s wife, Jacqui Smalley, and Susan’s husband, Ronnie Wong, were waiting for their return at the Boulder ranch when they received the devastating news of the plane crash. Susan, a prominent L.A. attorney and also a pilot, had flown the couple’s Mooney from L.A. to the Bryce Valley airport to spend a week with John and Jacqui. 

The plane John and Susan were flying in Friday morning, a two-seater Storch, was a plane John had procured years earlier for the purpose of locating straying cattle and sightseeing through the area. Unlike his Cessna, which John and Jacqui used to commute from Oakland to Boulder, the Storch was strictly a touring plane, specifically intended for low, slow flight. While John’s occasional Storch tours over the Boulder area raised a few eyebrows, those who have been on the receiving end of such a tour are forever grateful and in awe of that spectacular perspective. John was a careful pilot, meticulous in his care of the plane and his passengers. He welcomed any opportunity to take a visitor or a resident up for a ride, in either plane. In years past, John took schoolchildren on short plane tours as rewards for their schoolwork---a memorable part of Boulder childhood for many now-adults. 

After his mother bought the house on Hwy 12, John has been coming to Boulder since he was 16 years old, spending summers riding, swimming, exploring, and working on various local ranches. In 2003, he acquired what is now Boulder Creek Canyon Ranch, originally part of the old Haws ranch, and put the 300-acre parcel under conservation easement, enabling the continuation of a working ranch while protecting the land from future development. 

Although saving the viewshed of that incredible Boulder property was in itself a great gift to all of Boulder, John’s accomplishments and generosity extend far beyond. For years, John and Jacqui have sponsored a Libri grant to the Boulder Community Library for acquisition of new children’s books. They founded the Boulder-Escalante Scholarship Foundation in 2005, which has helped fund college educations for several area graduates. Last winter, John bought flu vaccine for whomever wanted to get flu shots locally, and he and Chyleen Mackay, an R.N. inoculated a small line-up of people. John and Jacqui were generous supporters of the nascent Boulder Community Alliance, a local nonprofit group that sponsors a wide range of community projects. And besides financial generosity, John would be the first to volunteer his time, his expertise, or his equipment whenever someone had a need. He wasn’t a person to hold back if he thought he could render assistance, and with his plane, his medical background, and his connections, he often did that, quietly and privately, for more people than most of us will ever be aware of. He was so much looking forward to his retirement, living in his new house with Jacqui, working on and managing his ranch, and getting even more involved in local projects.

To see John working around his ranch or chatting with neighbors, one would never imagine his “other self” as a high-powered Oakland businessman, working in the highest echelons of the medical insurance industry. John was founder, Executive Chairman and Chief Medical Officer of Arcadian Management Services in Oakland. Prior to founding Arcadian, John had occupied executive positions with many other medical-related businesses, including President and CEO of UniMed, a physician management company based in Southern California; Executive Vice President for Health Plan of America, a California HMO; Chief Operating Officer of HealthAmerica a Nashville-based HMO; Chairman of the Board and current Board member of Coventry Health Care. He received his M.D. degree from the University of California in San Francisco, in 1970, a Masters in Public Health from Harvard University in 1972, and was Board Certified in Internal Medicine.

To say John Austin’s departure leaves a void is such an understatement. Part of the grief is knowing that people who barely knew him will now never get the chance to know him better.